DEAR BRIDE, FIVE THINGS I WISH I HAD KNOWN TO BE BEST PREPARED FOR MY WEDDING DAY!
april 2020
people assume that i know everything about weddings because i have worked in the bridal industry for the last five years. truth time: this is my first wedding, and all that i know about pertains to the gown, accessories, and alterations, absolutely nothing about the day-of mechanics. my partner and i were married this past november in a very intimate setting, surrounded by 50 of our closest friends and family. of course i am so happy with how the big day went -- i mean, i vowed to spend the rest of my life with the person who is, simply put, perfect for me. how can that not be the best day ever? but that isn’t saying that everything was smooth sailing. there were mishaps, sore feet, and a near breakdown in the women’s bathroom because there was a shortage of bobby pins. that got me thinking (said in the tone of carrie bradshaw), what better way to spend this quarantine than to help our brides, but in a different way! so here it is friends, the top 5 things that i wish i had known before my wedding day.
1. Make time to eat!
i know this sounds like a no brainer, but it is more difficult than one would think! the excitement of the day certainly got to me, and i could barely eat but three bites of my breakfast. the thing is, it wasn’t even nerves but more of an excited anxiety to have everything come out perfectly. first mistake. if you do choose to take the bulk of your photos before the ceremony (something i would highly recommend!), make sure you snack! instead of adding yet another thing for you to remember, delegate someone in the bridal party as the snack duty captain. make sure they have a full stash of cliff bars, bananas, and any other quick snacks for you and the entire wedding party -- just no flaming hot cheetos… that with a white gown is a disaster waiting to happen. i didn’t eat much all day, which made my stomach upset, bowels all gurgly, and me completely unable to enjoy the amazing dinner at canlis (easily the best restaurant in seattle!). don’t be like me.
2. Break in your shoes!
i tell my brides this daily, yet i didn’t even follow my advice. second mistake. truly make sure that you break your wedding day shoes in, and i’m not talking about wearing them around the house once or twice while you vacuum! my only saving grace was that i had brought a pair of boots for when we took outdoor photos, otherwise my poor feet would have been covered in blisters. taking this into consideration, while it makes a very cute and instagram worthy photo, having the wedding date or a little poem written on the soles of your shoes isn’t the most practical idea -- those shoes have never been walked around in! this will leave you with as many blisters on your feet as the number of glasses of champagne you have that day.
3. Prep your props!
in retrospect, i really wish i had gotten more photos with my veil on and my gorgeous bouquet. this tip will mostly apply to brides who are doing the bulk of their photos at a different location than the ceremony. we were driving all around seattle for our pictures, so the majority of our shots didn’t include my drool-worthy, custom sara gabriel veil (the adelaide veil with the petals customized to match my kathleen hair clips, also by the incomparable sara gabriel) or any of the floral arrangements that i was so excited about, as they were with the other decor at the venue. i was so disappointed when we looked through our wedding photos with how few pictures there actually were of these things! what i would do at my next wedding (just kidding justin!) is put someone who didn’t quite make the cut as a bridesmaid, but that you didn’t want to put into the guest book attendant role (let’s not lie, we all know this is the worst job!) as the props master. that’s obviously a cooler title than guest book attendant, plus they are playing a vital role! so when you are thinking about how to make your sister-in-law that you hardly know (not speaking from experience or anything) feel included, make them your prop master! luckily, i have the best husband in the world, and he commissioned a friend to do a painting of my bouquet — now i’m not as upset about my lack of bouquet photos!
4. Communicate with your guests!
we were lucky enough to not have any guests underdressed (big thank you to my mom and mom-in-law!), but that isn’t always the case. i’ve had several friends complain that some guests were dressed far too casually, some even came in jeans! please be sure to communicate the dress code with your guests, and remember that your idea of black tie might be very different from your uncle dan’s! it is okay to give examples of appropriate attire on your wedding website -- i know that members of my family kept reaching out to have their outfits vetted beforehand! there was, however, another problem that came up, one that i had never even thought about! while it is certainly better than showing up late, close to one third of my family members arrived close to two hours early to the venue… there were guests already present when the wedding party arrived! common courtesy is to arrive 30-45 minutes before the ceremony. instead, i didn’t feel as if i could double check the set up and make sure the decor is how i envisioned and planned it -- how can you when you are already having to play hostess? another big problem with people being far too early is that so many of my guests saw me before i walked down the aisle, which is that last thing i wanted. we dream of this magical moment when you enter and you hear the gasps from your friends and family. but how can that moment happen if the magic is already broken? at least that is what i thought at the time. now i have realized that the magic was still there, and that the walk down the aisle, my gaze solely on justin, was one of the best moments in my life. nevertheless, be sure to communicate with your guests about the appropriate time to arrive. perhaps even make sure the invitation states when, to put it in theater terms, the house opens.
5. Have an emergency kit handy!
this is my biggest take-away from my wedding day, so take notes, or have your maid of honor take them! someone who is with you at all times (most likely your moh) should have an emergency bag with them that will never leave their sight. make sure there is an ample supply of hairspray, mints, your lipstick, baby wipes (things could get dirty if you are doing outdoor photos!), eyelash glue, a change of comfortable shoes, and most importantly, bobby pins! there was almost (well, i say almost, my mom would say otherwise!) a meltdown on my part because of my hair-- it was coming out right before it was time to walk and we could not find any spare bobby pins. thankfully, i’ve got the best mom-in-law as she took down her own hair-do to give me all of the bobby pins! i know we get frustrated whenever we find random bobby pins throughout our house (that can’t be just me, right?), but those little things can save the day!
the biggest thing to remember on your wedding day, is the reason why you are there. things will go wrong. people will show up way too early, or when you are in the middle of reading your vows. it might rain, ruining your vision of your outdoor wedding. you might have to be carried around because your feet hurt so bad. but don’t forget that this is only one day out of your life and the gravity of a blunder, whether big or small, does not really matter in the long term. remember your love and be true to who you are as a couple. and most importantly, remind yourself to stop, enjoy, and celebrate your future.